var quotes = new Array;

quotes.push("Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? ~Author Unknown");
quotes.push("A nickel's worth of goulash beats a five dollar can of vitamins.  ~Martin H. Fischer");
quotes.push("Vegetables are the food of the earth; fruit seems more the food of the heavens. ~Sepal Felicivant");
quotes.push("Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. ~Doug Larson");
quotes.push("Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. ~W. C. Fields");
quotes.push("Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. ~Mark Twain");
quotes.push("Wine is sure proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. ~Benjamin Franklin");
quotes.push("Life is short. Eat dessert first. ~Unknown source");
quotes.push("Everything you see I owe to spaghetti ~Sophea Loren");
quotes.push("I come from a family that gravy is considered a beverage. ~Erma Bombeck");
quotes.push("When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste. ~Laiko Bahrs");
quotes.push("The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball");
quotes.push("I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. ~Steven Wright.");
quotes.push("Vegetarian: an old Indian word for bad hunter ~Bumper sticker");
quotes.push("One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. ~Virginia Woolf");
quotes.push("Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. ~Clifton Fadiman");
quotes.push("Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.  Lettuce pray. ~Author Unknown");
quotes.push("Worries go down better with soup. ~Jewish Proverb");
quotes.push("We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.  ~Alfred E. Newman");
quotes.push("There is no love sincerer than the love of food. ~George Bernard Shaw");
quotes.push("NetCooks.com Making the World taste Better");
quotes.push("A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat.");
quotes.push("Vegetables are a must on a diet.  I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. ~Jim Davis");
quotes.push("Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue/green meat, that.s bad for you! ~Tommy Smothers");
quotes.push("A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed. ~George Rosenbaum");
quotes.push("In Mexico we have a word for sushi:  bait. ~Joséimonss");
quotes.push("You don't have to cook fancy or complicated masterpieces - just good food from fresh ingredients. ~Julia Child");
quotes.push("Eat little, sleep sound. ~Iranian Proverb");
quotes.push("Food is an important part of a balanced diet. ~Fran Lebowitz");
quotes.push("An empty belly is the best cook. ~Estonian Proverb");
quotes.push("Rice is born in water and must die in wine. ~Italian Proverb");
quotes.push("Hunger is the best sauce in the world. ~Cervantes");
quotes.push("Kissing don't last; cookery do! ~George Meredith");
quotes.push("My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. ~Orson Welles");
quotes.push("Can it be a mistake that STRESSED is DESSERTS spelled backwards?");
quotes.push("If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?");
quotes.push("And, of course, the funniest food of all, Kumquats. ~George Carlin");
quotes.push("Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. ~Mark Twain");
quotes.push("Pancakes and Sausage: For Batter, for wurst.");
quotes.push("The more you eat, the less flavor; the less you eat, the more flavor. ~Chinese Proverb");
quotes.push("Ham and eggs: a day's work for a hen; a lifetime commitment for a pig.");
quotes.push("If it's beautifully arranged on the plate, you know someone's fingers have been all over it. ~Julia Child");
quotes.push("If at first you don't succeed, order pizza.");
quotes.push("Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all.  ~Harriet Van Horne");
quotes.push("My favorite animal is steak. ~Fran Lebowitz");
quotes.push("The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again. ~George Miller");
quotes.push("The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. ~Mark Twain");
quotes.push("Food is our common ground, a universal experience. ~James Beard");
quotes.push("You will feel hungry again in another hour.  Fortune cookie message");
quotes.push("Fish, to taste right, must swim three times...in water, in butter, and in wine. ~Polish Proverb");
quotes.push("Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. ~Mark Twain");
quotes.push("Giving our best today is the recipe for a better tomorrow.");
quotes.push("There is no such thing as a little garlic. ~A. Baer");
quotes.push("The way you cut your meat reflects the way you live. Confucius");
quotes.push("When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.  ~Mark Twain");
quotes.push("A 3 year old gave this reaction to her Christmas dinner:  \"I don't like the turkey, but I like the bread he ate.\"");
quotes.push("Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. ~Adelle Davis");
quotes.push("One should eat to live, not live to eat. ~Benjamin Franklin");
quotes.push("Soup is liquid comfort. ~Author Unknown");
quotes.push("Man does not live by bread alone. ~Moses");
quotes.push("Japanese say Americans are lazy. HA!! At least we cook our fish!");
quotes.push("Never eat more than you can lift. ~Miss Piggy");
quotes.push("There is no such thing as a pretty good omelette. ~French Proverb");
quotes.push("Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.");
quotes.push("I can't believe you can get banned from a bakery for mispronouncing focaccia! ~Hikeeba.");
quotes.push("I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious.  ~George Carlin");
quotes.push("Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.  ~Andy Rooney");
quotes.push("I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. ~Steven Wright");
quotes.push("Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon ? Great food, but no atmosphere!");
quotes.push("Dining is and always was a great artistic opportunity. ~Frank Lloyd Wright");
quotes.push("After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relatives. ~Oscar Wilde");
quotes.push("I put instant coffee in my microwave oven and almost went back in time. ~Steven Wright");
quotes.push("Anything is good if it's made of chocolate. ~Jo Brand");
quotes.push("When I go to a restaurant, I always ask for a chicken and an egg, to see which comes first.");
quotes.push("Note to self: Alcohol based marinades and gas ovens SHOULD NOT BE COMBINED.");
quotes.push("My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it. ~Buddy Hackett");
quotes.push("I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something. ~Mitch Hedberg");

document.write("<font size='-1' family='Arial' color='#008000'>"+quotes[(Math.floor(Math.random() * quotes.length))]+"</font>");